Marry Me?
by cuter-than-a-guinea-pig
Summary: Even with Burt's disapproval, Blaine goes ahead with the proposal hoping that Kurt will think differently than his father.


"What time is it," Kurt yawned tiredly. He could feel Blaine's warm body maneuver beneath where he had his head resting on his best friend's chest, stretching so he could see the bedside clock. This had always been his favorite cuddling position for tv marathons and he had to stop himself from snuggling closer and nuzzling into the soft cotton of Blaine's polo shirt. It had become an almost reflexive habit and it didn't help that it smelled sweetly of the boy's cologne or that spending the evening cuddling in bed with him had brought forward a slew of happy memories. He had caught his heart fluttering periodically and the butterflies come to life in his stomach, his eyes lingering over the muscular build and the plump, kissable lips. It had all felt like it used to and he was becoming more and more okay with that.

"Almost twelve-thirty," he replied, his voice groggy.

"We totally have time for another episode, right?" he asked excitedly, turning his head to look up at Blaine with hopeful eyes. The hazel eyes that peered back at him weren't playful like he was expecting though. They were intense and piercing and fixed on his own in a way that made the cogs, clearly turning a mile a minute, inside Blaine's almost visible. The strong hand resting on his back, forgotten long ago, now came suddenly to the fore front of his own awareness, as did the closeness of their bodies, and the way he could feel Blaine's slightly erratic breath ghosting over him.

"Kurt," he finally spoke. And then his other hand was digging frantically into right pocket of his jeans, pulling something out. A box. A ring box. And then he was opening it, all the while looking at him with such conviction and hope. "Marry me?" he asked quiet and breathless, the vulnerability evident even to Kurt who was shocked into some sort of trance.

He had dreamt of those words and that ring for so long. He had dreamt of them coming from Blaine even. There had even been times where he'd been so scared that it would never happen that it had physically hurt. He found himself getting swept away by that little boy inside of him for moment, the one who had always dreamed of finding a Disney prince of his own, and he could see the beautiful wedding, the cozy little apartment, the lazy days and, once they started a family and had toddlers running around, the crazy days. He could see it all. He could see that future that the two of them had talked wistfully about so many times before and it was gorgeous but it was just a fantasy.

It was just the innocent imagination of the little boy inside of him that had yet to grow up and face what true heart ache felt like. He knew what it felt like though and judging from the desperate look that had washed over Blaine's face, the other boy had too. That's why he couldn't do it. That's why as much as it hurt to say to those pleading hazel eyes, he had to.

"N-no," he stuttered shakily but as gently as he could. "Blaine, no."

He could see the tears well up in Blaine's big, round eyes, lips beginning to tremble, before he turned away, shifting uncomfortably. Kurt didn't let him up though. He was scared that Blaine would run and he wasn't going to let that happen. The boy who had saved him, his knight in shining armour, looked far too broken to be left alone right now.

"Hey, no. Blaine, don't cry. Please don't cry," he soothed, reaching out his hand to cup the warm cheek and turn Blaine's eyes back to his. "It's going to be okay, B, I promise. Everything's fine. Just breathe for me, okay? Just relax and we'll talk."

"How can it be okay?" the other choked out while trying to hold back tears. "I'm such an idiot. I keep screwing this up and, and… I just….. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No. Don't be sorry," he whispered, swiping his thumb softly over a fallen tear and then over the next. He continued until they had stopped, holding Blaine's face in his hands so that he knew that he wouldn't leave. When they stopped, Kurt ducked his head to meet Blaine downcast gaze. "I'm going to go make us some warm milk, okay? And then we'll talk." After getting a small nod in reply, Kurt pressed a light kiss the Blaine's forehead and climbed from the bed.

He took his time in the kitchen, stirring the milk heating in a sauce pan on the stove slowly, allowing the motion that had always been comforting to seep in and settle him. It let him collect his thoughts so they could actually have a productive conversation when he returned. He also had to deal with a few of his own tears. It shattered him to see Blaine like that, so small and defeated and knowing that although he was doing the right thing, he was still the cause and if he just said yes instead, all would be right in the other boy's world. The problem was his own world though and Kurt hoped desperately as he climbed the stairs back to his room that he could explain it to Blaine in a way that would take away some of his pain.

"You did a good job," he said softly from where he had stopped in the doorway, watching as Blaine turned the ring over in his hand. It was hard to see from across the room but he noticed it earlier, a simple, silver band with three small crystals pressed into the shiny metal. He loved it. It was sometimes hard for him to picture what his engagement ring would look like. The traditional bands were just a little too feminine but he still wanted it stand out. This one was perfect.

"That doesn't mean you'll wear it, does it?" Blaine asked sadly. It was rhetorical.

He approached slowly, handing Blaine his mug after he put the ring carefully back into the box and placing the box on the bedside table. Kurt didn't fail to notice how hard it was for Blaine to let go and how tightly he gripped the mug.

"We're not even together," he started softly, taking a seat beside wear Blaine was leaning against the headboard.

"I know," Blaine nodded, hiding his face in his mug.

"Don't you think we should be dating before we get married?"

"I-I didn't really think we would get married right away. We could just be engaged for a few years."

"_Just_ be engaged? Blaine. There's nothing _just_ about an engagement. I know you agree with me."

"No, I know. I just didn't know what else to do."

"What do you mean?"

Blaine took a long sip before answering. "Well, I screwed up but you forgave me and then we started talking again and getting close again. You would say that you loved me and you missed me and would let me say those things to you. And then when we saw each other we would hook up and I know you said you needed time but everything started to feel real again, especially when we were _together_ so I started losing patients. I know I had no right to but I did and I guess that manifested itself into me deciding that you were just waiting on a sign, some big, romantic gesture….."

"I'm not," he said, turning to Blaine. "I'm not looking for anything from you. It worries me a bit to see do something so drastic. I know it comes from true emotion, not just some whim, which is good but it scares me a bit. I can see how much I could hurt you. That's what caused this whole mess." Blaine tried to protest this but Kurt simply continued. "I got careless and I'm scared of that happening again. But there's also this feeling, I guess. I just always felt so safe and comfortable around you. I trusted you implicitly, without question. I have no idea why because I didn't even know you in the beginning. I would see you or hear your voice and everything bad would just melt away. I want that again. I need it, especially from you because otherwise, I'll hesitate and second guess things and every time I do, I'll be reminded of how we used to be and why that changed. I can't live like that."

"Yeah," Blaine nodded. "I knew that somewhere. And I know that this whole thing doesn't bode well but I am willing to wait."

"I know. That makes me really happy to hear," he smiled. "Because I do think I'll want that ring someday."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In fact, I was pretty sure when you pulled me aside in the hall the other day you were going to ask me out on a date and I think I was going to say yes." He'd been feeling this way ever since his father got the good news. It had felt like a new beginning for everyone.

"You think?"

"Well, being friends has felt good so a date would be the next step. I can't make any promises but I'll only know if we try.

"Really?" Blaine's eyes looked brighter than they had in while, the golden shimmer shining through again.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"So, like tomorrow night, dinner and move?" Blaine asked while adorably trying to contain his excitement.

"That sounds wonderful," he answered with a smirk, hiding the betraying flushed cheeks in his own mug. The familiar warming that he usually hated felt good now though. It was assuring in a way, proving that there was still some innocence and purity, that not everything between them had been tainted with hurt and betrayal. It proved that he wasn't forcing this. He was ready and this is what he wanted.

Kurt smiled as he lifted his head again, licking the milk off his lips quickly. He caught Blaine's gaze flicker downwards, the way his own had been doing all week. When they met his again they were bright and questioning and full of awe and Kurt simply could no longer resist.

He lent in slowly, slipping his own eyes closed and allowing Blaine to meet him in the middle on where their shoulders and sides were pressed lightly together. And Blaine did just that, pressing back soft and sweet. Kurt felt Blaine's hand come to rest against his cheek, gently though, as if he and this were too fragile to risk damaging. And although Kurt missed the some hardness and deepness that Blaine used to kiss him with, he was still happier than he had been in a long time and he was looking forward to working back up to it.


End file.
